Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Some Things Are Better Stale

I feel like Tiger Woods right now... embarrassed and at a loss for words. I promised you blog readers the world, and I came up short.... very short. I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you, and I understand if you won't forgive me, but please take comfort in the fact that its not you.....its me.

I hope you found my apology sincere, and if you didn't... go fuck yourself, this blog shit takes too much damn time. Once again, a lot has transpired since Syracuse got bounced out of the tournament. Dan turned 27, Mark met a girl at a bar who concealed an egg in her bra, Phil decided on Hotlanta, and according to facebook, Gronske is now in a relationship (go figure). 307 upgraded itself as the new roommate apparently makes freshly squeezed orange juice every morning after passing out the night before with his bedroom light and shoes still on. The weather has changed as well, its been beautiful over the past couple of weeks, and we even got a chance to play some golf this past weekend. Dan knocked in a two foot putt to ensure a victory, and a free Fortissimo dinner for him and I as we defeated Mark and Bob in a round of golf. Other than that, everything else is still the same.

As for me, I'm getting ready to head off to Oakland County, Michigan in a couple of weeks, and before I go I think we should all get together and share a few libations. This weekend wouldn't be a bad idea to get together as it Shell Belle's birfday party, and shes bringing friends from all over the contiguous United States.

Anyhow, I just wanted to let you all know I still love you, and despite what you think, the blog is still alive in well. I'll be updating soon, peace

P.S. In case you were wondering, stale bread can be used for Bread Pudding...reason enough to never eat bread pudding

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

March Madness Baby!!!

Its that time of year again folks...time to fill out those brackets and become the toast of the town at your workplace. That's right people....its NCAA Tournament Time... Yeeeehaaaa!!! An event so great that an entire nation will have two web pages opened up on their office desktops for 2 weeks straight...one for those TPS reports, and the other for the Utah State/Texas A&M game. March has been an incredible month in my life for the past 17 years as my first bracket I ever made won my fathers office pool (Thanks Chris Weber). There's no feeling quite like winning an NCAA office pool, especially when you're ten and things like taking a dump are a daily adventure. Every year since the 1993 tournament I have chosen Syracuse to go to the final four, and this year is no different (I have them winning). This strategy, which often leaves me out of the money, payed dividends only one time since than, as the 4 seeded Orange got to the Finals after beating Georgia in an insta-classic. But this isn't about Syracuse people. This is about grown men and women duking it out with some sniveling 9 year old kid who picks winners based on which mascot he thinks is the cutest. The tournament is about pride people. Its about who knows their shit, and who just listens to Dicky V. What's the point of this post, I have no idea, but I know one thing....Ole Boy is gonna make one hell of a run in his office pool in 2010...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Week That Was....Green

Well I don't quite even know where to start with what has transpired over the past several days... I guess we should start off with Saturday morning and good Ole' Saint Patty's Day Parade in Hoboken (Which will be changing its name next year to "The Belligerent, Parliament Smoking, Twenty Something Hammer Fest"). That's right, St. Patty's Day was an absolute shit show as White Men ages 24-35 did their best Artie Lange impressions in order to make out with 21 year old chicks who might have had a few too many Schlitz's. I'm not gonna really go into the details of the Hoboken festivities, but in a nut shell, by 3:00PM it looked as if there was a "Dawn of the Dead" sequel being filmed between Bloomfield and Washington (God only knows what would have happened if Gronske had attended the festivities). The highlight for me of course was seeing some schmuck wearing a "Kiss me I'm Jewish" shirt. I immediately walked up to him and gave him a handjob for his heroism. I guess you can call this entire the week "The Week of the Irish," cause this Sunday marks the 207th annual West Orange St. Patty's/homecoming/reunion/god she got ugly...Day. Just in case you didn't eat enough green bagels, now's your chance to once again "Get Your Irish On" and possibly share a pint or two with your favorite West Orange police officer. I myself am praying for a rainout, only cause I live with my parents and I don't feel like answering a dozen questions about why I smell like cigerrettes and "Dillons" Corned beef and cabbage. I can honestly say I'm looking forward to a local weekend cause Hoboken Saturday Nights are getting a little too wacked out for my liking (who am I kidding, I'm nothing without the Bokes). Please check back for updates on what should be a wet and wild weekend filled with poorly aging local broads and maybe a fight here and there.


Monday, February 22, 2010

Man Night... more like, the Night That Sorta Sucked

Usually when I wake up on a Sunday morning half in the bag to a text that reads... "Did you eat my Fuckin Chicken Parm Sandwich?!?" I know that the night before must have been pretty friggin awesome. This Sunday was a little different however, and for the life of me I cant figure out whether or not Saturday's night ManFest Shitshow was awesome or not. I remember bits and pieces of the night, and all of them lead to nothing more than a feeling of mediocrity. If you dont mind, and I'm sure you dont, I'd like to share a few high and lo-lights of Saturday nights affair.

So the night started out with Mark picking me up in the bright red Camaro... a car that handles the potholes of 280 with effortless grace and stability. To make matters even more fantastic, I get in the car only to find that he and I are wearing the exact same outfit. We both looked great in my opinion, so Dan calling us gay a dozen or so times didn't change how I felt one bit about our attire (It could have been worse, we could have both been wearing the American Eagle life preserver vest that he donned throughout the evening). The night really peaked shortly thereafter with a pregame sessions at 307. Arthur's Steakhouse plans turned into takeout, and an insult inspired game of asshole provided a decent amount of laughs at the expense of all of the participants. If i had a dollar for the amount of times Mark and I were called gay I would have enough money to buy at least 6 Chipotle Burritos. Unfortunately for all of us (excluding Dick, who somehow is finding ways to have more fun than a first timer at the Go-Go-Rama week after week) the night was about as fun as eating those 6 burritos; time spent over indulging as we all sped directly past Funland and into the world of "I feel like shit, this is boring, lets go home." In fact, at some point in the night Dan turned into an absolute Zombie, and eventually a body pillow for Dick who had no other choice but to spoon Fitz cause his blood alcohol content was hovering somewhere around eight.

So there you have it, the Hi's and Low's of a very okay Saturday night. I really don't have much more to say, as the night was so forgettable that I no longer wanna expend energy discussing it. I'm hoping that either next time a little more effort is put into the development of our plans, or we just go off the cuff like usual and make a good time out of nothing.

Luck and Wishes

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thought I Had Forgotten About You, Eh??

A wise man once wrote in my 2001 West Orange High School Yearbook.... "It seems like Yesterday that we met Yesterday, but it wasn't...but I wish it was." I'm not lying to you guys either, that was actually written in my yearbook, and it has given my friends and I almost a decades worth of entertainment.
It wasn't until recently however since I've stopped updating the blog that I've started to truly understand the significance of those graduation/parting words.
"It seems like yesterday that we met yesterday" It only seems like a few days ago that TSGOT was started as a result of boredom... a grown man lying around his house without anything better to do as he awaited busy season at work to kick into gear... "But it wasnt" It really has been like 3 months.... "BUT I WISH IT WAS!" You're right Doug, I wish it was too... I wish i still had the zest to publish every night when i got home from work...the desire to create and entertain the masses (all 4 people who read), and I think it's safe to say that like may other bloggers...I have lost my way.

But just like Doug seemingly lost his way as he scribbled all over the back page of my yearbook, he was able to pick his ass up by his boot straps and finish his quote with one of the greatest endings to a speech of ALL TIMEEE.... "Lee- Rember Luck and Wishes" That's not a typo either people... that sonofabitch wanted to express how badly he wanted me to remember the "luck" and "wishes" we shared that he created his own Fuckin word! And that is passion people. It's with the same fervor that I will update the blog with, and the same rapture that we shall all share as we embark upon what will certainly be one of the greatest Saturday nights ever had... because Saturday night in the Bokes is officially "The Night of Luck and Wishes."

Soo without further ado the tentative gampeplan is as follows... a steak over at Arthurs (Marks Idea).... a pregame over at 307 (probably should tell the guys who live there about this)... and then finally an absolute shit show at 340 grille (there could be no better place to have such an event). Rember folks... it seems like yesterday that we alll met yesterday, but it wasnt, but I wish it was.... so lets get hammered about it!

Oh by the way...throughout the night, It would be awesome if we all greeted eachother with "Spartan-like" handshakes as we wish each other "Luck and Wishes." Just a thought...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sorry about this...

I just wanna take a second to apologize to all the TSGOT fans out for the stagnant nature of the blog the past week. Work has been a little busy lately and my spare time has been taken up by off season workouts. I'm gonna get this ship turned around ASAP and I need ya'll to bear with me. Here's a little video to help ease the pain

I have the maturity level of a 6 year old

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Get your Hair Gel ready cause its about to go down. Thursdays are no longer for uhhhh, i have no idea what the hell Thursdays used to be for, but now Thursdays are all about The Jersey Shore. I'm %100 gay for this show and will probably watch it instead of that Nation Championship thing that's going on at the same time. While we are discussing TV, I think it should be noted that I will be attending the Wendy Williams Show next week (that's the goal at least) to see if Dan really works there, or if hes just serving hot dogs outside of the building. I'm guessing the man is not lying, although he did blame locking Jeff Marcus' baseball locker with a random Masterlock (how many times can i include the word lock in this awful post) on Brian which we all know is a complete lie.
What else, what else....ummm I think thats pretty much it for the day, TSGOT will have a full report on this weeks "Goombas Gone Wild," and a badass interview with a TSGOT fan favorite... stay tuned

Oh by the way... a little disclaimer... my passion for The Jersey Shore has nothing to do with my feelings towards Italians, in fact I'm a big of those Greasy Bastards...haha that's a lil joke. But seriously, I like Italians...okay bye

Friday, January 1, 2010

2009....Ya Fired!!!

2009 is officially over. A year which gave us the rise of Mario Lopez, the fall of George Bush, and the demise of Tiger Woods. It was also a year in which "This Guy" (yours truly) was released for the first time and hit .300 for the first time (So what it wasn't for an entire season, you try and do that shit!). When I look back at 2009 I can't think of too many memorable moments. I'm not sure if it counts, but New Years Montreal 2009 was certainly a highlight. It really set the bar high as far as partying expectations were concerned, and I don't think we did anything to disappoint. There was plenty of boozing in 2009, plenty of boredom, and it was a year in which TSGOT saw the rise of "Dick," a man who is taking Saturday nights to a new level. 2009 was another shitty year as far as my sporting teams are concerned. The Niners continue to try and get over the hump...Syracuse Football had an awful record...SU basketball got demolished in the sweet 16...but with all of that being considered, each of those squads are poised for big years in 2010 (mark my word). The best movie in my opinion was "Glengarry Glen Ross" which was made in 1992, but seen for the first time by "This Guy" in 2009. The worst movie by far was "The Blindside," and I've vented on that topic in posts prior. My bank account didn't grow in 2009, in fact I took a considerable pay cut (lol) to play baseball in Michigan. I think I got better lookin in 2009, however. While we are talking about good looks in 2009, how could we forget to mention the death of Michael Jackson. I never realized how awesome this guy was until he was dead, and I never realized how easy the moonwalk was until he was gone either. 2009 gave us a bunch of other shit that really isn't worth mentioning, but while it wasn't the most memorable year it certainly wasn't a "bad" year either. If I could say one very nice thing about this past year, its that for me personally, 2009 was a year in which I met some incredible people both professionally and personally... and these relationships will no doubt make the years to come much more enjoyable. So here's to you 2009, thanks for the mediocrity!!! O, wait... before I go, I forgot to mention we now have a Black President... Cheers!